So I'm in the Deli downstairs today. Yeah we live above a Deli. Nothing too glamorous. Nice beer selection - funny smell though. So yeah it's like 98°F (not C like Al Gore predicted, typical Democratic FARSE!) Anyway it's Hot. I'm really hung over (still kinda am) and at that moment some guy (probably a Communist - because of his bright blue Mets jersey) turns and says to me... oh you'll love his. HE says "Hot enough for ya'?" I swear I nearly crapped myself. So typical of strangers. I hate those people who get all awkward when a public place is silent. I on the other hand love it - frigging love it! That's actually why I like libraries. They're quiet like cemeteries. Books creep me out to no end - but not as much as dead people do.
So it's nice and quiet just me Martin-the-sandwich-guy, this douche-bag-silence-killer and Mike-the-Deli-guy. It could have been his brother Tony, I get em' confused sometimes. Anyway I am so happy at that point to be in A/C since we only have units in our bedrooms. It's nice and cool - and for a moment I had almost forgotten how blistery hot it was. HOT ENOUGH FOR YOU? That's how this guy is going to be remembered by me. If I see him again - that douche bag - all I'll be able to do is stare and wonder.
What if it were December? I bet I won't see him again till like January and it'll be all frigid out and he'll walk in to the same deli and order that same crappy Smoked Turkey Sandwich with Muenster Cheese (he seemed like a smart guy at first because he requested Boar's Head and all).
I Guarantee that this same freak will pop back into my Deli with one of those stupid wrap around ear muff things and an oversized Gap scarf that he bought "because it keeps me warm and still makes me look cool." And you know - not remembering the serious scarring I've been left with from 5 months earlier - you know what he'll say. "Cold enough for you?"
I'm not sure what I'd do at that point. Maybe just stare at him coldly and for an awkwardly long moment - just like I did toady. I did. I couldn't believe that he said it. Maybe it was the hangover taking control but all I could do was square up and face him (not but two feet apart) and stare, emotionless, and unsympathizing of the fact that his Dad probably did crap like that and he just didn't know any better. Whatever the reason I don't care. It's just the most asinine comment to make. So in 5 months, this guy pulls that type of shit again... there's no telling what I might do.
And by the way. I was the guy that said it. Yeah it was me. I used to always give my Dad crap when he'd talk to people. And there I was 27 years old living in Brooklyn - an almost functional member of the community. I did it. I still can't believe it.
"Hot enough for you?" As I stood waiting for my delicious hero today. And I feel bad for the poor Snapple delivery guy who was the recipient of my comment. I certainly deserved his stare. Hopefully I don't run into that guy in January. There's just no telling what he might do.
